His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
try to milk me bitch
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize