I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
