He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
