Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
