I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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