I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
