So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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