Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How external is "for external use only"?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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