I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
