Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dick very happy bro
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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