I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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