I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
