Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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