She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
