Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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