You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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