I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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