the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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