I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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