did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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