the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
