i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
