If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
operation have a gay friend backfired
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
send nudes
from the living room?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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