I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
