i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
