worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He felt like a one man threesome
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
