Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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