He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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