Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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