He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
