If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
