We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
