She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
