what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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