when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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