found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
