You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
