I am in a vortex of obligation.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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