I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
