We're facebook friends in real life
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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