hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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