And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
