You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
