Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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