Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
