:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize