Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
