Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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