Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
