my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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