3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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