I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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