You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
