i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
