I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize