i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
