we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
