so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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