repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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