Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize